Untamed

Start small they say.

Take baby steps;

each day as it comes…

xxx

But what does that even mean?

When something is so, so big?

How do you start small?

How do you even begin to

pull that to pieces?

Tiny fragments of something

so huge?

Breaking it down

into bite size chunks.

The problem is too big

to even begin.

When your mind is whirring…

xxx

Start with yourself,

they always advise.

That’s scary.

Intense emotions

Clinging to your soul.

Too scared to start 

opening them up.

Really look at yourself.

Really look deep and search.

Search your entire being.

To find one small part.

One small part 

to pick apart.

And lay bare.

It’s so unknown.

So raw,

So emotional.

Do I want to go there?

xxx

So, I will start small.

I will take those 

baby steps.

I will fail…

xxx

But I have to keep trying,

I have to keep moving,

forwards and backwards.

Listen.

Be aware.

Start liking myself.

By finding 

one small thing

I lost

years ago.

When I changed.

Changed into somebody who isn’t

actually me.

xxx

Start by listening.

Listening to my heart.

Listening to the ‘inner’ me;

Listening to the 

signs of my body.

What my gut is telling me.

What I really know,

But don’t want to acknowledge.

I will listen. 

I will become free.

xxx

I will start small,

Like they tell me.

I will fail.

But I will keep moving.

Backwards and forwards.

Forwards and backwards.